Thinking about what you are going to say instead of listening
Focusing excessively on problems
Being ctitical about something that could be undone
Getting emotional and losing your temper
Sending conflicting messages
Bad timing, choosing the wrong time to discuss a "hot" issue
Failure to consider the other person's perspective
Distorting or disqualifying the other person's message
Telling lies, not leveling with the other person
Trying to mindread and telling the other person what he or she thinks or feels
Failing to take advantage of feedback
Insensitivity to the feelings behind the words
Revealing impatience, irritation, or hostility
Overestimating the other person's statements in terms of what you want them to mean rather than in the way they were intended
Moving rapidly from one topic to another
Being either quick to defend or to offer resolution to what one thinks the problem may be and not really listening in the sense of hearing and understanding the main points
Becoming frustrated, angry, and insensitive to each other's feelings in such a way that leads to blaming, critizing, and negative perceptions of the other's behavior that is then seen as a character flaw
Generalizations such as: always and never
Being passive or aggressive with reponses instead of utilizing assertive responses